


I Won't Send Roses

by DanieXJ



Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Christmas, F/F, Possible Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27729655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanieXJ/pseuds/DanieXJ
Summary: Kim Legaspi is minding her own business, being a good boss, when a favor for her employee throws her back into the path of Kerry Weaver.
Relationships: Kim Legaspi/Kerry Weaver
Comments: 14
Kudos: 9





	1. November 28th, 2020

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know what came over me. Why I wrote this. I know where it first started, I saw a trailer (not even the whole movie, though I’ve now seen it too), for the Hallmark Christmas Movie Holly & Ivy, listening to Iovanavici's Donauwellen, and a couple of Torvill and Dean skating routines.
> 
> Also, like in the other modern day (i.e. 2020) fics I’ve written recently, in this world there is no COVID-19. Others have done amazing fics with it in them, but, I’m writing these to get away from the real world for a bit. So, while it does take place years after Kim and Kerry met in 2020. It’s in the ER Universe, not ours.
> 
> Also, even though I’ve been watching way too many Christmas movies as I write this, I promise, no Amnesia and no Time Travel in this one. (Y’all almost got the Amnesia, but, I decided against it at the very last moment).
> 
> Note to those who are being careful about what they're reading right now: This is going to have a bit of angst in it. Oh, and I do apologize for any and all the stuff I get wrong when it comes to Kerry's situation. I'm trying to gloss over the details as much as possible so that I don't get too much wrong, but, *knock on wood* I only have second hand knowledge of the facts, and what I've seen in the media, no first hand knowledge. So. I truly apologize for whatever I get wrong.

“No, it’s fine Lee. I said I’d cover for you, and I will. I know I’m the head of the department, but, I do happen to know how to do almost all the jobs in my department. You take care of your little one and I’ll deal with your stuff here.”

“Kim, you’re definitely the best boss I’ve ever had. And I’m not just saying that because I’m covered in puke and… something else.”

Kim Legaspi shook her head as Lee hung up. She had just pushed through the door to her next consult’s room when she looked down at the name on the chart. Her head snapped up and her eyes met those she hadn’t seen in 19 years. “Kerry?”

The young man in the room glanced between Kim and Kerry. “Mom?”

Kerry looked over, “Ah, right. Dr. Kim Legaspi, this is my son, Henry Weaver.”

Kim reached across the bed and after a moment the sixteen year old shook Kim’s hand. “Please call me Kim. Will your other Mom be joining us?”

A soft laugh came from Kerry, “You always were quick on the uptake.”

It was Henry who answered Kim’s question, “My Mom… Mama Sandy, she died when I was three months old. It’s just me and Mom against the world. Stupid fu… freaking Cancer.”

Kerry gripped Henry’s hand, “Will you go to the vending machine and get something to drink, or… or wander somewhere for a few minutes?”

Henry kissed Kerry’s forehead, “Yes, I can totally pretend to do that Mom.”

Kerry chuckled as Henry left, “So, NEMVH, I’m surprised you’re not at Mass General, the Brigham, or somewhere else.”

Kim stood at the bottom of the bed, gripping her tablet against her chest. “There’s also a VA semi-close by, ENRM, and they’re doing amazing things with homeless vets. I do some work there too. Here I’m the head of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science.” Kerry frowned, “Which doesn’t explain why I’m standing in front of you. Right. I’m filling in for one of my doctor’s whose husband is overseas and whose kid is painting their walls with puke.”

Kerry nodded, but didn’t speak.

After a couple of moments of silence, Kim did. “Is Henry your only family support here after your first surgery?”

“No-- we were going to stay with Abby Lockhart in Boston. She and Joe. But, everything being here instead of in Boston itself.”

“Stay with me.” Kim winced, “Shouldn’t have said that. I take it back.” She shook her head, “I think you’re okay to go into surgery. If you’re anything like years ago, you know more about the risks of this surgery than the surgeons doing it. Does Henry have his license?”

“He does, yes.”

Kim looked down, “And I see that Abby’s your emergency contact. Do you want me to call her?”

“No. Thank you, but, will you make sure that Henry’s let in when I get out of surgery. Sometimes…”

Kim cut Kerry off, “Of course.” A bit of a smirk came to Kim’s lips, “You must have acquired some magic powers to convince Sandy Lopez to give up a year of her career to have a kid.”

“You knew her?”

Kim put a hand up, “Not in --that-- way, no, but, yes, she and Kate went out on a couple of dates I think. I believe they broke up when Kate took her to a Chicago Bulls game. Did not go over well…”

Kerry smiled, “She was quite the Blackhawks fan. Henry plays too… played. With all this…” Kerry sighed and met Kim’s eyes, “Our relationship was never perfect. But, in the end she and I loved one another and, that was something I was sure would never happen for me.”

“Ouch.” Kim put a hand to her heart with a smirk, “Ouch I say.”

“I could add the word again if that would soothe your ego.”

Kim laughed, “I think I’ll live. I’ll go and find your son.”

“He’s outside the door.”

Kim glanced that way, “How’d you know?”

“Aside from the fact that I raised him on my own for sixteen years? If he could donate his brain to me to fix the tumors in my head, he would have. When we got my diagnoses he was pissed that it wasn’t some sort of liver or kidney cancer.”

Kim shook her head, then was silent for a moment, “I’m about to say something else that I shouldn’t. Is it okay if I pray for you?”

“You’re still…”

“A lapsed Catholic turned Methodist at the moment? Yes.” She took the cross she always wore out from under her shirt for a moment, then tucked it back.

“I-- sure, yes. I don’t want to die, to miss my son growing up. So, yes, it’s okay. Thank you.”

Kim inclined her head, “And I will make sure the staff know he’s your son.”

“Thank you.”

Kim nodded and left the room, letting Henry in. He’d been leaning against the wall next to the door just as Kerry had said he would be. She turned and watched as he went to Kerry’s bedside and gave his Mom a hug.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

In retrospect, doing her job as well as her subordinate’s wasn’t the greatest idea Kim had ever had. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. “Kerry freaking Weaver. And with a wife and kid.”

“Dead wife, but, yes. She also had a long term girlfriend, but, while she was cool in the beginning, by the end there was this mysterious willowy blonde, Anne something, Annika. Something like that.”

Kim let the chair go back to its original position and opened her eyes, “She told me not to contact you.”

“Joe’s with Luka on the other side of the world this whole month. And, I want to be here for her even if she doesn’t want me here.”

Kim studied Abby, “Do you like her?”

Abby made a face, “Oh, God no Kim. Why would you say something like that? We were friends… or we became friends at County, but, ironically by both getting out of Chicago we got closer. We bumped into each other at a Trauma Conference after I came to Mass General, and since then. She’s like a sister. If something…”

Kim stood and made her way to Abby, putting an arm around the brunette. “Unless she’s changed drastically in the last two decades she’s also seriously stubborn and doesn’t give up easily.”

Abby met Kim’s eyes, “Except for every once in a while.”

“We’re not talking about the past, we’re talking about the future. This time she won’t give up. And, that kid of hers definitely won’t let her give up.” She glanced at the clock, “Unless something went horribly wrong, she should be back in her room by now.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

As Kim and Abby got to Kerry’s door a guttural yell emanated from it and both women were through the door. Kim was the first one in, and after the quickest of glances around the room she knelt in front of Henry and put a hand on his knee. “Henry?”

He jerked awake, “What?” His eyes went to the bed, “Mom.”

Abby answered, “She’s fine. All the monitors are fine.”

“Aunt Abby?”

Kim got out of the way as Abby and Henry hugged. Then quietly left the room. She was halfway down the hall when Henry caught up with her, “Thank you Doctor Legaspi. After you talked to my Mom earlier, it was like she was still worried, but she wasn’t-- freaking out-- anymore?” Which is good, because she says that part of getting better is believing you’ll get better. Of course, she said that before when I had the flu and shit… stuff…”

Kim was silent for a beat, “You’re welcome Mr. Weaver.” Henry made a face and Kim smiled, “I told you to call me Kim, and I meant it. So, you can call me Doctor Legaspi, and I’ll call you Mr. Weaver.”

Henry rolled his eyes, “You’re weird.”

“I know. So, your plan was to stay with Abby and commute from Boston for the chemo?”

“That was the plan. It’s supposed to be once a week for 4 weeks. It’s something really intense I guess, and then on December 24th she has another surgery if the dangerous tumor is small enough. It’s almost small enough, but, it’s right… it’s where…” Henry shook his head, “She did this sort of half laugh when she saw the scans and said that she’d have been okay with Broca’s.”

Kim was silent for a moment, “Dr. Mark Greene. We both worked with him in Chicago. Your Mom for many years, me for… a few months. He had brain cancer, his was right near Broca’s.”

Henry stared at Kim for a second, “You assume I know what Broca’s even means.”

“You’re Kerry Weaver’s son. I know that you know what it is, where it is, and what it does.” She paused, then continued, “This is going to be grueling for your Mom. You two should stay with me. I actually happen to have two extra bedrooms.”

“Because you’re really really obviously single?”

Kim blinked, “Hey now. I-- you can’t tell that.” Henry chuckled. “Right. You’d just have to deal with 62 instead of 128 and 93. Or dealing with the absolute shitshow that is the T and commuter rail.”

Henry stared at Kim, “You’re her doctor. Isn’t that a conflict?”

Kim took a card and wrote on the back, then gave it to Henry. “I’m not actually, Lee is. And the oncologist and surgeons. Don’t decide now, she still has a few days more in this place. Henry, it’s okay not to be strong for her too. Even if you guys stay with Abby. Use that number if you feel not okay, alright? No one should lose a parent before there’s at least a seven in front of that parent’s age.” Kim gestured, “Go, don’t want your Mom waking up to just Abby.”


	2. November 29th, 2020

Kerry slowly opened her eyes. Slumped in the chair next to her sat a quietly snoring Henry. She put a hand to her heart.

A voice spoke from her other side, “He’s already charmed the nurses.”

Kerry slowly turned her head, “You’re still here?”

Kim shrugged, “Ice chips?”

Kerry frowned, “Is it too late? What went wrong? It should be earlier, lighter outside, not the middle of the night. It took me too long to come out of anesthesia. What went wrong Kim?”

Kim shook her head, “Gah-- you sound just like your neurologist. Here’s a test for your brain Ker. What does average mean?”

Kerry chuckled, “Average mean…” Kim raised her eyebrows, “A number expressing the central or typical value in a set of data, in particular the mean,” she gave Kim a look, “which is calculated by dividing the sum of the values in the set by their number.”

Kim gave a faux bow, “I rest my case.”

“Kim.”

“They got the easy one. Their words not mine. Your treatment plan is right on track. So, next is a round of chemo starting…”

“Today?”

Kim laughed, “Sorry. I told both your doctors that’s what you’d say.They didn’t believe me. And, I believe that it will be tomorrow, Monday.”

“Abby?”

“Had to go into work.”

“And your family? It’s an ungodly hour and you’re still in this hospital.”

Kim waved her left hand, “Single. And, if you didn’t get it from my previous comments. I work too hard. Lots of charts to do too, but only 24 hours in the day.”

Kim crossed her arms over her chest, then let them hang loose at her side, “Don’t stay with Abby in Boston. I have room, two rooms actually. Just think about it.”

“Why?”

Kim’s eyes narrowed for a second, then she shook her head, “Has anyone ever told you you’re a pain in the ass?”

That got a smile from Kerry, “My mother when I was a child, although she didn’t use those words, and Sandy.” Kerry gave a laugh, “She managed to call me with so much love in her voice.” She shook her head, “I apologize, believe it or not, I don’t usually go on about my dead partner so much.”

“S’okay. Just get some rest and think about my suggestion.”

Kerry raised an eyebrow, “So, talk it over with Henry so he can convince me?”

“Sounds about right. I’ll tell the nurses you’re awake.”

As Kim left, Kerry turned back towards her son and watched him sleep for a moment before closing her own eyes.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Kerry?” Abby took the cell away from her ear for a second, then put it back, “Are you okay?”

“Do you know a lawyer in this area? I have some paperwork that I need filed.”

“Ah, sure, yeah. I can give you some names, or a name. Why?:”

Kerry was silent, “Paperwork.”

“Nope. Unless you tell me, you don’t get the name and number. Maybe you’re planning to murder Kim and you need a crimninal instead of civil lawyer.”

Kerry fell silent again. All that could be heard was the fake noise on the cell phone, “I need changes to my Will and another document.”

Kerry could hear understanding in Abby’s voice, “Oh, Courtney was going to be his guardian? So, will you change it to Florina and Guillermo? Or Carlos?”

“You if that’s okay.”

“Me?”

Kerry smiled, “Yes Abby. If you and Joe will be there for Henry I would be so grateful.”

Abby spoke quickly, “No, yes, of course Kerry. But, you won’t need us to. You’ll start chemo tomorrow and have your final forever and ever surgery on Christmas Eve and you’ll get to see Henry until you die at 120 years old.”

“Thank you Abby.”

Kerry heard Abby clear her throat over the line, “You’re like the sister I always wanted. I’d do anything for you Kerry.”

“Oh, Abby.”

There was the echo of a hospital speaker, “Damn, I’ve got to go. I’ll text you Kirk Kimball’s number.”

The call ended and Kerry put down her phone. She spoke to the empty room. “The other document is a living will with a DNR.” She closed her eyes and swallowed.


	3. November 30th, 2020

Henry popped into the room. “It’s the best November 30th ever, right Mom?”

Kerry smiled, “Sure. You’re not getting pumped full of poison.”

Henry shrugged, “One day I’m gonna make it so that we don’t have to kill the mosquito with a hammer that devastates everything else around it too.”

“No, young man. You’re going to play for the Blackhawks and bring us at least two or three Stanley Cup’s home.”

A nurse, her name tag said Loreen, had just entered the room with a laugh, “Did you just tell your son he… wasn’t… to be a doctor, but a hockey player instead. You don’t hear that often.”

Kerry stood from the chair she’d been in, “Henry can be whatever he wants, as long as it isn’t a doctor.”

Kerry sat in the wheelchair as Henry spoke, “I’m going to be a doctor, but, to humor my Mom I won’t be an ER Doc or a Surgeon.”

Loreen looked over as they walked down the hall, “Oncologist?”

Henry shrugged, “Or Pathologist.”

Both mother and son were silent Loreen got Kerry settled and all set up with her first dose of medicine and left. “Henry, do you think we should stay with Kim instead of Abby?”

Henry was still for a moment, “She’s that Kim right? The one before Mama?” Kerry nodded, “Do you think she’s doing it because she wants to be your girlfriend again?”

Kerry narrowed her eyes at her son, “One, I cannot believe we’re having this conversation. Two. No. I was horrible to her. I doubt she has even friendly feelings towards me.”

Henry frowned, “Then why would she be helping us? Our massive amount of money?” Henry smirked, then sobered, “I mean. I looked up how long it would take to get from Abby’s address to here on the maps app. Kim was right, it’s bad.”

Kerry held out her hand and Henry took it. “I know her,you don’t. So, this is up to you.”

Henry fell silent for a moment, “Tell me something about her?”

It was Kerry’s turn to pause, “We met in September of 2000. I was trying to finalize how we were going to deal with Carter coming back. Mark was still on vacation. So, I was in a bad mood and it didn’t help that my hip was killing me.” Kerry shook her head, “So. I was in the Doctor’s Lounge, over the paperwork like some demented hunchback and she comes in loaded for bear too. She said something like, ‘Are you the boss of those idiots?’”

oOOOOo

_Kerry looked up at the blonde, “I’m the Chief in charge of the Emergency Department where my highly trained, good doctors, work, yes. Since you’re vaguely insulting, and I don’t recognize you, you must be the new Psych Attending. You should take a breath and realize that my people have been here longer than you have.”_

_Kim held her clipboard against her chest with both arms around it. “So, you’re pro-suicide then, just like this… Malucci?”_

_That gave Kerry pause. She held a hand out, “You have that clipboard clutched to your chest like it’s going to escape, is the chart somewhere in there? May I see it?”_

_Kim pursed her lips,then pulled the chart from behind her clipboard, “Here.”_

_Kerry took it and looked it over for a moment. She stood, gathered her crutch, and walked by Kim, not speaking a word, but giving the blonde back the chart._

_Malucci was at the admit desk, “Doctor Malucci. Listen to Doctor Legaspi.”_

_Malucci opened his mouth to say something, then closed it for a moment and nodded, “Yes Chief.”_

_Kerry inclined her head, “Thank you Doctor Malucci.” She glanced at Kim, “Doctor Legaspi.” And went back to the lounge._

_Kerry wasn’t sure how long it was before Kim appeared again, “Knock knock?”_

_Kerry looked up, “Doctor Legaspi. Will Mr. Cerulea be okay?”_

_“For now, yes. But, we can only hold him for so long. He has to choose life for himself.”_

_“It’s not always that easy.”_

_Kim put a hand up, “I’m not saying it is or will be easy. I’d never. I-- I feel like we should start over. I’m Doctor Legaspi, but, please, I beg you, call me Kim.”_

_“Doctor Weaver. I supposed I should tell you to call me Kerry. It’ll be better than the other names that have been made up for me.”_

_Kim laughed, “I do believe I’ve heard some of them already. But, why would I use anything other than Kerry. It’s a beautiful name. I apologize for earlier. But, I’ve dealt with Emergency Departments that didn’t... listen to the Psych Department. Once it had deadly consequences.”_

_Kerry pushed the papers away from her. “I’m sorry too. Not that it’s an excuse for rudeness, but, I’m dealing with a personnel issue--”_

_“Dave out there?”_

_Kerry gave a bark of a laugh, “Surprisingly not. I’m-- I’m also in a lot of pain today.”_

_Kim frowned, “Pain?”_

_Kerry lifted her crutch, “Congenital hip dysplasia. Didn’t have it fixed when I was a kid.”_

_“Oh-- you use a crutch.”_

_Kerry stared at Kim for a second, then cracked up laughing, “For some reason I actually believe that you didn’t notice.”_

_Kim gave a faux bow, “I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. Do you need help with the pain?”_

_Kerry shook her head, “No. It will go away. Thank you.”_

_“In that case. I’ll leave you to your work. And see you around?”_

_Kerry nodded, “Definitely.”_

oOOOOo

Henry smirked, “She gave it back to you.” Kerry smiled, “I, yes, I think we should stay with her. Whatever reason she has for doing it, it’s better for you Mama, and that’s all that matters.”

Kerry squeezed Henry’s hand, “You only use Mama when you’re worried. Don’t worry Henry. We’ll get through this.”

Henry stood, “I’ll be right back.”

“You seem more like an-- always tell your son the truth-- sort of mother.”

Kerry looked up. Kim stood in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest, “I didn’t say that we’d get through it together.”

“Mmm… so, your answer is yes?”

Kerry nodded, “If you’re sure.”

“I still…”

“Say what you mean and mean what you say. I remember.”

Kim nodded, “Yep. So, I’ll be back and we can head out once you’re done today.”

“Okay.” Kim turned, but, turned back when Kerry spoke, “You don’t happen to have a hair trimmer?”

“I actually do.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kim frowned, “Kerry-- why is your son doing the dishes?”

“Because I raised him right.”

Henry piped up, “She did. Mostly. Except I still spend too much time in the penalty box.”

Kerry smiled, “My little enforcer.”

Henry laughed, “Wait, wait, what’s the other thing that Mama taught you? Offsides?”

Kerry barked a laugh, “Oh-- she tried.” Kerry raised a hand, “Go Blackhawks. That part I got loud and clear.”

Kim smiled, “Don’t say that too loudly or the neighbors will hear you. We’re in Bruins country. I also have to keep my Bears allegiance quiet.”

“Why?”

“1986. It was the first Super Bowl the Patriots went to. They got the pants beat off them by The Chicago Bears.” Kim stood, “Need help drying Henry?”

“Sure.”

Kerry stood as well, “I’m going to sit on your deck for a while.” Both Kim and Henry frowned, but Kerry didn’t let them speak, “There will be a coat, gloves, hat, probably a blanket. The cold doesn’t give you bacterial infections or viruses. Both of you should know better.”

Henry and Kim looked at one another as Kerry went outside, “So,Henry,it’s been awhile, but, that’s Ker worried right?”

Henry signed, “Yeah. Kim, why do you call her Ker?”

Kim took the clean plates and stuff from Henry and dried them while she thought. “Huh-- I’m not sure. Sometimes I don’t. Or didn’t.”

Henry shrugged, “Just a random thought. Are you going to decorate?”

Kim glanced around, “I wasn’t. No.”

Henry was silent for a minute, “Could we? I mean, I don’t mean you, I can do it all. I just--” He looked towards the deck, “Mom loves Christmas, and if…”

Kim interrupted Henry, “You’re right, we should do something.”

“No, you…”

Kim put a hand on Henry’s shoulder, “I have a late shift tomorrow and happen to know where to get a tree.”

“That’s not…”:

Kim smirked, “You’re definitely not driving my car kid, so…” Kim held her hands up, “But, believe it or not, I can fade into the background with the best of them.”

“You will not.”

Both Henry and Kim looked over at a very red Kerry who had just come back inside, “Kerry, it’s okay.”

Kerry didn’t let Kim continue, “You’ve let us into your house. If you take us to get a tree for your house, you’re not going to wait in the car.”

“Mom--” Henry frowned, “You shouldn’t go.”

Kerry lowered her head a bit and stared at her son, “Oh, really?”

Kim interjected, “I think that tomorrow would be the best time to go.”

Kerry nodded, “Tomorrow?”

Kim met Kerry’s gaze, “Yes. Oh, and, if you or Henry need anything tonight I’m at the end of the hall. Or, feel free to just poke around until you find whatever you need.”

“I think we’ll be okay. Thank you Kim.”

“I’m gonna hit the hay.” She left Kerry and Henry in the kitchen.

“I didn’t even do anything and I’m tired too.”

Kerry kissed Henry’s cheek, “Get some sleep, I’ll be up soon too. Sleep well.”

“You too Ma.”


	4. December 1st, 2020

“Oh, it snowed!”

Kerry glanced out the window, “Wow, quite a bit too. Go-- go make a snowman Henry. I can see that you want to. It’s been forever.” Kerry smiled.

Henry stuttered, “W-what. No. Mom, I’m good.”

Kerry hid a grin, “Kim, help him.”

Kim blinked in surprise, her mug halfway to her lips. “Wait, what?”

“If he’s out there alone, it’s a weird thing. A sixteen year old making a snowman. You go out there, it’s… bonding.”

“But…”

Kerry raised an eyebrow, “Dying woman remember?”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kerry watched out the window as Kim and Henry made a very misshapen snow… something. The voice on the other end of the phone to her ear spoke, “Doctor Weaver. Still with me?”

Kerry pulled her gaze away from her son and Kim. “Ah, yes. So-- everything is all set?”

“Yes. I’m sort of amazed and a little perturbed. How exactly did you get me all this paperwork from a hospital bed?”

Kerry smiled to herself, “A tip from a doctor to a lawyer. Doctors, we’re a dime a dozen, but, PAs, nurses, medical secretaries and technicians, they keep the world spinning.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kim and Henry stood on the sidewalk and studied the two snowthings they’d made. “These aren’t good. I grew up in San Francisco, so, I have an excuse, how about you Chicago boy?”

Henry laughed, “Lack of practice? Not having Mom doing it with me?” The smile left his face, “Guess I may have to…”

Kim cut Henry off, “Nah-- I think it has nothing to do with Kerry. You just can’t build snowmen kid.”

“Oh, like you can stringbean.”

Kim laughed, “So, does your Mom’s whole ‘dying woman’ thing work every time?”

Henry nodded, “Every single time.” Henry turned his back on the house. “I’ve never been without Mom. When… when I was a baby she fought for me in court, and ever since then she’s…” Henry cleared his throat, “She’s the perfect Mom.”

Kim laughed, “I doubt that. I mean, the whistling alone.”

A bark of laughter came from Henry, “Oh-- yeah-- that. So, a tree.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kim watched as Henry and Kerry debated over two different trees. She shook her head and waited for her phone to connect. It did and Kim didn’t even let the person on the other end say hello, “Abby, she ordered me to build a snowman with Henry.”

There was silence on the other end of the line, “And did you do it?”

“Yes--”

Abby paused again, “And did you do it?”

“Sure.”

“So-- the problem is that you can feel yourself liking her again, even though she tore you up.”

Kim sighed and watched mother and son again, “No-- it’s worse than that Abby. I think that I’m falling in love with her.”

The sarcasm of Abby’s next words somehow seemed to drip through the phone, “Oh, the humanity. You’re falling in love with a beautiful, smart, compassionate doctor with a son who’s an amazing young man, smart as hell, funny too. We should all be so lucky.”

“Ab-- she’s dying.”

“Then you don’t have time to waste big bird.”

Silence fell, “Did you just…”

“Yes, I did, and I apologize. I immediately regretted it.”

Kim laughed, “Thank you for even picking up. I know that you and Kerry are close.”

“Kim. I may be best friends with Kerry, but, you almost literally saved my mother’s life. Where are you Kim? It’s loud?”

“Ah, we’re getting a tree.”

Abby laughed, “You should go then. It is going in your house, right?”

“Good point. Thank you Abby.”

“Oh, Joe and I are coming to Christmas Dinner at yours. Henry invited us, so…”

“Sounds good.” Kim chuckled and hung up. She made her way to Henry and Kerry. Henry gave a hurf when she got there. “Can you convince Mom that we should get a six foot not an eight foot Kim?”

Henry stormed off and Kim looked between his retreating back and Kerry. “Ah, did I miss something?”

Kerry gestured in front of her, “Two trees. Henry wants the eight foot one also, I know that, but, he’s worried that you two won’t be able to get it inside.”

Kim looked both the short and tall tree up and down, “You both want the eight foot one though, and, it should just about fit in the living room.”

Kim nodded, “Hey Reverend Lopez--”

A very tall, very big, very bald man appeared next to them, “You bellowed Doc?”

Kim put an arm around him, “So, you owe me.”

He laughed, “The lesbian needs a big strong man?”

Kim glanced one way, then the other, “Do you know where to find one of those Angel?”

Angel gave a shove, “Funny. So, your house, my truck, eight feet of tree?”

“Thank you.”

He gave Kim a squeeze and let go. “Let me go get stuff to secure it.”

“This is your church?”

“Angel’s the pastor. Reverend Angel Lopez. He’s heard all the jokes, and I’ve made all of them.”

Kerry regarded Kim, “And he owes you?”

“He did. Now he doesn’t. Ah-- will you and Henry be okay after your fight?”

Kerry smiled, “He was thirteen years old. There are only a few times in his life that he’s wanted something in a…”

“Capitalistic way?”

Kerry nodded, “Yes. I believe it was one of the gaming systems. I said no, a real no. He literally didn’t talk to me for fifteen days and nine hours. This’ll be okay.”

A moment later Henry and Angel appeared, “You girls ready to go?” He took a step back when both Kerry and Kim shot him almost identical looks of death. “Women… women… C’mon Henry, let’s get this behemoth loaded. You get the top, I’ll get the sappy part.”

They went off with the tree and Kerry seemed to sag. Kim caught her. “Hey, you weren’t supposed to overdo it Ker.”

“Does chemo make you horny?” Kerry smiled as she looked up at Kim, and Kim choked on nothing. “I want to kiss you Kimberly. I have wanted to since you walked into my hospital room.”

“Um…”

“Mom-- Kim-- we’re ready to go. You guys coming?”

Kim mumbled, “Not yet.” And Kerry laughed.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“He has a daughter.”

Kim smothered her smile, but Kerry didn’t as she responded, “Oh-- a daughter.”

Kim chimed in, “And two sons. Older sons, who love their sister very much.”

Henry made a face, “He--” Henry shrugged, “sorta reminds me of Uncle Eddie, but, cooler. I’m gonna--” He pointed, then walked out of the kitchen.”

Kerry mumbled something and Kim frowned, “What?”

“Smaller-- Eddie Lopez is significantly smaller than your minister. Smaller, much balder, and much much nicer.” Kerry put a hand to her hair, “Will you help me with the… disappearing of my hair?”

“Of course. You sure though?”

Kerry shrugged, “Last time I gave it a go without, and that was a less potent go round. It wasn’t pretty. Better to just take it all off.”

Kim stepped into Kerry’s space and tangled her hand in Kerry’s hair, “I thought red head’s didn’t go white or gray?”

Kerry smiled, “We do. Only very gracefully.” She paused, “Before everything… I would color it. Now-- Henry says it makes me look distinguished.”

Kim brushed a bit of hair away from Kerry’s eyes, “Beautiful as always.”

“You and I both know that’s not true. But, thank you.”

Kim touched under one of Kerry’s eyes, then her cheek, then her shoulder, “Just because you’re as skinny as a rail, and haven’t been sleeping well, your body is trying to kill itself, and you’re being injected with poison to cure that… That doesn’t mean that you’re not as beautiful as ever Kerry Weaver.”

“Kim.”

Kim took her hands away from Kerry, “I’m letting it go. I’m right, but, I’m letting it go.” She changed the subject, “I’m surprised that no one from County has called or…”

Kerry cut Kim off, “They don’t know.”

Kim took a step back, “You didn’t tell those still working at County?”

Kerry closed her eyes for a second and stepped out of the range of Kim, “By the end, some tolerated me, but, they never liked me Kim.”

“Bullshit.” Kerry looked up, “I was there Ker, remember? Some liked you, some even loved you.”

Kerry shook her head, “Agree to disagree. If you tell me where…”

“Nope--” Kim smirked, “I’m gonna give you a mohawk first. Or worse. We gotta get Henry in on this.”

“Here. Can I help?”

Kerry corrected him, “May I.”

Henry smirked, “You may.”

Kim laughed, “I feel like you’ve been doing that since you were ten years old to your poor Mom.”

Kerry rolled her eyes, “More like five.”

“I’ll be in there in a second, I just have to make a call.”


	5. December 2nd, 2020

“Kerry?”

Kerry gestured to the counter, “Sleep is a slippery mistress right now. Has been for awhile.” She looked up at Kim, “You’ve taken time off.”

Kim shrugged and took a drink of coffee, “Oh, this is good.” She smirked, “can you stay for the rest of my life?”

“How ‘bout mine?” Kim started to respond, but Kerry put a hand up, “I’m sorry, that was, not the right thing to say. You don’t need to even be doing this for us, we should--”

“I want to Ker.” Kim took another stalling sip, “I don’t know why, I’m trying not to go too deep into why, and, at this point, it’s done. So--”

Kerry glanced back towards the stairs, “I am worried about my son. He’s… he’s so focused on me. I don’t think he’s had fun in months. Right before all this happened to me I could see Sandy’s wild side starting to come out of him, and it was like… he just closed that door.” Kerry shook her head and put a hand over her eyes, “I’m an idiot. I’m complaining that I have a good kid.”

Kim finished her coffee, “So, is getting a tattoo too far, or, should we stick with bungee jumping?”

Kerry raised an eyebrow and Kim laughed, “Ah, how ‘bout axe throwing? I’ll make an appointment for tonight?”

Kerry stared at Kim for a second, as if gauging if the blonde was being serious or not, “Sure, why not.”

“First. We decorate the tree!”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Sit.”

Kim frowned when Kerry didn’t object and simply sat, and gave a helpful direction. “Henry-- you need to move the rat thing to the right and fill in the hole.”

Henry hurfed, “It’s a mouse Ma-- and, I have a plan okay?”

Kerry frowned for a moment, focusing on the mouse in Henry’s hand. “Oh, right, yes, Mama Sandy got that the Christmas she was pregnant with you.”

Henry kept his back to Kerry and stood still for a second, then hung it where Kerry had suggested. He turned. “I’m gonna go outside for a second. Just the porch.”

Kerry gave a nod and Henry left, grabbing his coat on the way out. Kim looked between him and Kerry. “Should-- is he okay?”

“Not even remotely.” Kerry started to push herself up, but, was stopped by a hand to her chest.

A half a second later Kim realized where her hand was and jerked it back, “Sorry, I was aiming for your shoulder. You stay here though. You’re worn out.”

Kerry sighed, “He’s not your responsibility Kim.”

Kim shrugged, “I’m a human being who has compassion. Anyone’s pain can be my pain even if it shouldn’t. I’m also a psychiatrist, so, I think I can handle one teenage boy.”

That got a laugh from Kerry, “Thank you Kim. And, I am tired. He’ll be fine though, you don’t have to…”

“My Mom may not have died, but, I do know what it’s like to lose a Mom.” She took her coat off its hook, “I want to.” She stepped outside and shivered. Out of Henry’s phone came the sound of a cello playing Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. It finished and she spoke, “Do you play the cello?”

Henry shook his head as Kim sat next to him on the porch swing, “No. I tried the piano. It didn’t go well. I play hockey mostly. Or I did.” He looked away, “I was pretty good at it, but, they kicked me off my Miami team because I missed practices during Mom’s first go round with chemo.”

Kim frowned, “That sucks.”

He nodded, “I know, but, in the grand scheme. She’s my Mom… it’s a sport.”

“Yeah, but, still… you’d think that coach would be less dick-ish than that.”

“You’d think. He wasn’t.”

Kim was silent for a moment, “So, what happened down there? They did chemo but wouldn’t operate?”

“Yeah.”

“Assholes.” Henry smiled a little, “Hockey’s your, what, stress relief?” He shrugged, “Mine was softball. I know, I’m a walking cliche, lesbian softball player. I was an outfielder, and a damn good one too. I could nail someone from the middle of the outfield to home plate. Boom. Outta there.” Kim threw her thumb over her shoulder. That got a roll of the eyes from Henry, “Anyway. That wasn’t my favorite part. I may or may not have had a lot of pent up anger at my mother in my childhood. When I was up at bat, well, let’s just say that I hit a lot of balls a long long way using that anger.”

“I’m not angry at Mama Sandy.”

Kim studied Henry until he looked over, “Are you sure? She chose to continue being a firefighter, she chose to go into that building to save others.”

Henry was silent for a moment, “What did your Mom choose over you?”

“A man. A man who wasn’t my father.” She fell silent for a moment, “I was four when she left, when she and my Dad got a divorce. He also got custody of us, me and my brother TJ, ah, Theodore Jr. We got 6 amazing years just the three of us, then my Dad died in a car crash.”

Henry frowned, “You’re an orphan.”

“Technically. TJ and I were sent to our Dad’s parents in San Francisco. They were great…”

Henry finished Kim’s thought, “...but not your Dad.”

“I was angry at him. For dying. I met a really good psychologist who helped me a whole lot. You… and your Mom too if she wants, should consider seeing one.”

“It’s been 16 years Kim.”

“So what?”

He glanced over, “Would you do it?”

Kim cleared her throat, “I-- I don’t think I can Henry, I’m sorry.”

“Oh…” he was silent for a second, then looked over, “Oh. You’re starting to like my Mom again?”

Kim shook her head, “I’ve never had a problem liking your mother Henry, she’s smart, funny, good…” Kim cleared her throat, “a good person. But, I don’t think…”

Henry cut Kim off, “It’s okay if it’s more. I survived Courtney, I could survive you if I had to. Should we go back inside and finish the tree.”

Henry popped to his feet and held out his hand. Kim let herself be pulled up, “Yeah.”

“Thanks Kim.”

“You’re welcome Henry. You will figure it out, you’re only 16.”

They went inside and into the living room. Henry started to speak, but Kim put a hand on his shoulder. Kerry was fast asleep. She whispered to Henry, “I’m gonna take her up to her bed and then we can finish this.”

Henry frowned and whispered back, “How?”

“Watch and learn young padawan.” Kim leaned down. Put one arm under Kerry’s back and one under her knees and lifted. She took Kerry up the stairs and carefully placed her on the bed.

Kim took Kerry’s shoes off and tucked the covers around her before going back downstairs.

Henry stood by the tree, his hands on his hips, “My Mom’s not heavy, but, she’s not light either…”

Kim smiled, “A tip. Make yourself just swol enough that you can do that.”

“Kim.” Henry winced, “Please never say that word ever again.”

“Ever?” Henry nodded, “I did sort of regret it while it was coming out of my mouth.”

Henry shook his head, “Shoulda gone with that.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kerry jerked awake in her borrowed bed. She had no clue how she’d gotten there. She put a hand to her head,then frowned. Something smelled good, really good.

When she got down to the kitchen she stood in the doorway as Kim went back and forth. After a few moments Kim looked up. “Hey feeling better?”

“Not particular, but, I’m up. Did I miss ax-ing?”

Kim laughed, “No. You weren’t asleep that long sleeping beauty. And, just in time for dinner if you can eat something. Henry’s finishing up the living room.”

“The tree.”

Kim shook her head, “The room. Go look.”

Kerry did and stumbled to a stop. “Oh. Wow.”

The tree was decorated with multi-colored lights and a wide variety of professional and personally made ornaments, from balls to dough ornaments. The room also had garland with lights around the perimeter. And on the mantle above the hanging socks was what looked like a hand carved nativity scene. The wise men at one end of the mantle, and Mary, Joseph, and an empty manger on the other.

“This is beautiful Henry.”

Henry shrugged, “It’s Kim’s stuff.”

Kim came up from behind Kerry, “My stuff that’s been collecting dust for years. And, it was his idea to put together the garland and lights too. So, ready for dinner?”

Henry nodded and put down an ornament, “It smells…”

“Great? Horrible?”

“Great.” Henry passed them.

Kerry hadn’t moved, “It does smell great, but…”

Kim cut her off, “Just sit with us. Eat, don’t eat tonight. Tell me all about being a world famous TV Medical Contributor.”

That got a smile. “Or, we could interrogate you Dr. Legaspi.” She put her hand on Kim’s arm, “How in the world did you end up in Boston.”

“Massachusetts. Boston is the city. They don’t love it, but, those here are used to that. Just, never call a New Hampshire resident a Bostonian. Yikes. Thought I was going to lose my head there.”

Kerry laughed.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kerry watched as her son threw his axe at the target. “You came here on a date once, didn’t you.”

“I did. I think that while it’s not checking someone into the boards, maybe it’ll help wind down a little?” Kim glanced at Kerry, “I happen to know a hockey coach. A Mom who coach’s her son’s team. Is it okay if I ask her if she has room for one more for a bit? You’re going to be here for a month or so, so…”

“Kim, you don’t have to.”

Kim put a hand on Kerry’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze, “I want to Ker.” She removed the hand and looked at it for a moment, then shook her head.

“My son is disturbingly good at this.”

“Wanna try.” Kim wiggled her eyebrows.

Henry sat down, “It’s really fun.”

“Sure. Will you show me how to do it Kim?” Neither said another word as Kim stood behind Kerry and got her set up. She paused, her arms around Kerry, then cleared her throat and re-joined Henry.

Kerry heaved the axe and it slammed dead center into the bullseye. Henry whooped and jumped up, engulfing his Mom in a hug. Kim smiled and when mother and son turned, smirked. “Must have been the teacher. So, shall we end on a high note?”

Both Henry and Kerry nodded at the same time in almost the same way. Kim couldn’t help but chuckle as Henry went to retrieve their coats. Kerry frowned, “What?”

Kim just shook her head, “Nothing.”


	6. December 7th, 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late uploading of this and the next chapters. I screwed up my wrist while shoveling the horrible ice/snow crap that we had, and, could only really type enough to do my job and not my extra stuff like this. It's feeling a little better, so, we'll see if I can be more on track for next week. Also, there's some language in this part.

“Good, you’re both here.”

Kerry and Henry’s gazes met across the kitchen table, “Where else would we be?”

Kim gave a shake of her head, then a smirk, “Hockey practice… this afternoon? The rink is just down the block even.”

Henry opened and closed his mouth as was silent for a moment, “No-- thank you Kim, but, I should.”

“Henry…”

Kim spoke over Kerry, “I will go with your Mom to her appointment if you’d like.” Henry didn’t respond and Kim continued, “And, the coach knows that you’re just here over the holidays. And, her kid is your age and has equipment you can use. Well, unless you have wildly clown sized feet or something.”

He looked at his Mom, “I can say no. Really, it’s okay.”

Kerry put her hand behind Henry's head and leaned her forehead against his.

“Henry. You should go. And have fun. Please.” He didn’t respond, just hugged her hard. Kerry whispered something to him and he moved away with a nod. Then left the kitchen.

Kerry sat back, “I told him that I wasn’t going to die just yet, I promised.” She looked up, “Since you asked.”

Kim sat, “I didn’t.”

“You were going to.”

She inclined her head, “Fair point. I’m sorry that I didn’t…”

Kerry cut Kim off, “It’s okay. Actually, it was perfect.” She paused, “Don’t do it ever again… but, it was perfect. Thank you.”

Kim gave a faux salute, “Never again. Aye, aye. Is it okay if I come with you, or would you rather I just drop you off.”

“Drop me off, do some work, take me ho-- back?”

Kim shook her head, “I’m on--”

Kerry put a hand on top of Kim’s. “I’ve been the head of a department Kim. There’s no such thing as a vacation.”

Kim sat there for a second, then smiled, “You think that you’ve changed. But you haven’t. For the record, I never much minded when you took charge--”

“Kimberly Legaspi.”

Kim laughed, “Not what I meant… well… not quite what I meant.” Kerry shook her head as Kim continued. “It was… a relief at times. But, it also made me forget that us, or rather you being in love with a woman was new for you.”

“And I chose the exact wrong moment, moments, not to be myself.”

Kim shrugged, “You mean in with Romano at my flogging?”

Kerry shook her head, “I’m being serious Kim. And, I meant breakfast with those two asshole police officers.”

“Oh. That. That wasn’t pleasant. At that point you weren’t my colleague.” Kim looked up, “You were my girlfriend, and we were in my house, not the hospital.”

Kerry sat still, “The end of our relationship is one of my regrets. Not that our relationship happened though. If it hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met Sandy-- had Henry as a son. But, how it happened. I’m sorry Kim.”

Kim stood and went to the sink. She put her mug down and turned. “Thank you. And, it’s been 19 years. I accept your apology.” She sat back down, “Is there no one else? Did you ever find your birth Mom?”

Kerry blew out a breath, “My mother, yes, Helen Kingsley. Lives in Terra Haute, Indiana. There’s also a half brother Carl, he’s probably about 41. And a sister, Laurie who’s 39. I found Helen, sent her a letter, got no response. Eventually she found me. We were getting along well… and then I showed her a picture of Sandy.” Kerry shook her head, “Maybe I could have broke it to her better, but, I wasn’t very experienced at that point. I was yanked out to my co-workers and employees when Sandy kissed me in the middle of my ER.”

Kim interrupted Kerry, “You’re gonna need to save that story for later. I assume that it was a very bad reaction to Sandy in the photo?”

Kerry nodded, “Oh, is that your Nanny.”

“Ooh--” Kim winced, “A solid double right there.”

“Yes,” Kerry sighed, “We didn’t part on good terms after that. It was 15 years ago.”

Kim stood, “In that case, you’ll have to survive and if you ever see her again, make sure to rub in the fact that you survived brain cancer without her support.”

Kerry smiled and shook her head, “You haven’t changed much either Kim.” Kim shrugged and held out a hand. Kerry took it, letting herself be pulled up. “I think it’s above freezing outside. Sit out on the deck? I’ll clean up and join you.”

Kerry nodded.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Ooh… Doctor Weaver, did you manage to tame Doctor Legs?”

Kerry coughed, choking on nothing. “I-- no-- no--”

Loreen gave Kerry a look that made obvious the nurse believed none of the words coming out of Kerry’s lips. “Mmhmm… looks like you’re nearly done for today. Is your… friend… taking you home?”

“She is.”

Everyone looked up as the overhead speaker called a Code Blue. Loreen pointed a finger at all those in the room, “None of you move.”

Kerry let a small smile appear as Loreen left. The older man next to her spoke, “What does that mean? Code Blue?”

Kerry glanced over, “Could be something cardiac or respiratory.” The man stared at Kerry, “Sorry. Could be a heart attack or someone who has stopped breathing. Or both.”

“Thank you.”

Kerry inclined her head, “You’re welcome.”

“It’s all so scary. You know?”

“Yes.” She nodded and closed her eyes.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“You’re here.”

“I am.”

Lee pursed her lips, “You’re not supposed to be here.”

Kim didn’t look up from the computer screen, “I brought Ker in for her treatment. Didn’t want to hover, and I always have things to do.”

“God. That’s so stupid. Go Kim. Be with her, not here working. Don’t mess this up again.”

Kim finally looked up, “A, I didn’t entirely mess it up, she did too. B, there is no this.”

Lee looked over the top of her glasses at Kim, “You let her move in.”

“Stay with.”

“Don’t distract me by ending your thought with a preposition. You’re taking time off to be with her too.”

Kim interrupted her again, “It’s only her and Henry. And he’s only 16.”

Lee laughed, “Is it so scary to admit that you still have feelings for her?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

Kim sat back, “She broke me in a way I didn’t think was possible. I’d dated straights before. They flirted with lesbianism and then firmly went back to their guys. I thought at first that Ker was the same. But, then, I was an idiot. I started thinking that maybe she wasn’t. Maybe Kerry Weaver, short red gorgeous dynamo was different.” Kim shook her head, “Then she wasn’t.” She put on a smile, “That doesn’t mean I want her dead though. So-- there is no this.”

Lee held her hands up, “Whatever you say.”

They both looked up as the PA system announced another Code Blue in the chemo suite.

Kim shot to her feet and was out the door in the blink of an eye.

Lee rolled her eyes, “Oh-- there’s definitely a this.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“She’s not breathing. Loreen… Loreen…”

Kerry didn’t think. “Husband person… hit that button by the door.” The young man stared at her. “NOW.” He did. Kerry unhooked her port and crossed the room, “Does she have a DNR?”

The person next to the woman frowned, “What? Help her. Help her please.”

“A Do Not Resuscitate order. Oh… screw it.” She started CPR, moving to one side when Loreen and the code team appeared.

She didn’t move from her place on the floor against the wall even as the woman was wheeled out of the room. She just closed her eyes as the adrenaline left her.

“Ker-- Kerry?”

Kerry opened her eyes and looked up at Kim. “I’m fine.” Kerry made a noise as Kim picked her up as she had previously and deposited her back in the chair. “Kimberly.”

Kim stood in front of Kerry, her arms tightly across her chest, “What were you thinking?”

Kerry closed her eyes and leaned her head back, “That someone was in need, and I could help him, and I wanted to feel like me.” She opened her eyes and shook her head, “It sounds perfectly idiotic when I say it out loud.”

Kerry looked away as both women fell silent. It was Kim who finally broke that silence, “It’s not stupid, and you’re Kerry Weaver, of course you saved her.”

“It felt good--” Kerry met Kim’s eyes, “Now, not so good. I’m done though.”

Kim held out an arm, “Then let’s go.”

Kerry pushed herself up and took Kim’s arm, “You’re the one who carried me upstairs the other night?”

“I was.”

“Thank you.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

_“You’re a fucking idiot.”_

_Kerry blinked. She was in the living area of what had been Sandy’s fire station. “What?” She frowned and looked down when Sandy took her hand. “You’re dead.”_

_Sandy kissed Kerry’s hand, “I’m in your head. You’re dreaming and you’re an idiot. You will love me for the rest of your life. That doesn’t mean you should be a nun Kerry.”_

_Sandy let go of Kerry and spun away, throwing her arms out to the sides. “She’s gorgeous, smart, funny, stands up to you, and won’t take any of your crap.” Kerry opened her mouth, but Sandy kept talking, pointing a finger at Kerry. “If you use Henry as an excuse… he’s okay after you and Courtney broke up, right?”_

_Kerry couldn’t help herself, “She cupped Sandy’s cheek. “I miss you.”_

_Sandy turned her head and kissed Kerry’s palm. “And your brain thinks that if I still exist in heaven, I miss you too. I love you Kerry Weaver.”_

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kerry opened her eyes. She was on Kim’s couch, Kim crouched next to her. “Are you okay? You were having a… dream. Couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad one.”

Kerry pushed herself up to a sitting position, “A little of both. I didn’t mean to nap.”

Kim held out a hand, “I want to show you something.”

Kerry frowned, but let Kim put a coat on her and they left through the front door. Henry stood by the street with a smile, “Kim let me play with electricity Ma.”

Kerry shot Kim a look. “He’s making it seem more dangerous than it was. I swear. Hit it kid.” Henry clicked a switch and the entire house and walkway lit up in all the colors of the rainbow.

“Wow. It’s amazing Henry.” Kerry hugged Henry to her side, “I’m sorry this Christmas season is so-- I’m sorry.”

Henry shrugged and put an arm around Kerry’s waist, “No. You’re all the family I need Mama. And, it’s not like we won’t Skype with everybody else on Christmas Eve or Christmas too.” He smirked, “That’s better for you and Nana too I think.”

Kerry’s body shook with silent laughter, “Florina does seem to think that I can’t hear all the _Dios Mios_ under her breath.”

Henry smirked, “Is that why you don’t tell her you know Spanish?”

“ _Si mi hijo. Si._ ” Henry laughed.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kerry and Kim sat on her couch, some sort of Hallmark movie playing on the TV. “You should have been a Mom. You’re really good with Henry.”

Kim glanced over, but couldn’t hold Kerry’s gaze and it went back to a blonde actress on screen who was talking with a vaguely familiar looking guy about some sort of tree nuts. “I almost was.” Kim crossed her arms over her chest, then let them fall. “It was post-County, but pre-NEMVH. She had a kid, the cutest two year old you’d ever see. He seemed like he’d grown up smart enough to fix the world someday. She and her ex hadn’t ended well. She had physical custody, ex had visitation. Which meant that they still saw each other sometimes.” Kim shrugged, “We didn’t work out. They did.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kim cleared her throat, “What are you sorry for?”

“That you lost him.” Kim shrugged, but Kerry didn’t let it go. “What was his name?”

Kim finally looked at Kerry again, “Jon-- Jonathan. He had this look in his eyes, like he was watching everything.”

Kerry chuckled, “He was Kim. At that age they may be sorta talking up a storm, but more than that, they’re listening, absorbing.”

Kim looked back to the TV. “It’s better anyway. You know my past-- divorced parents, raised by my Dad who then died in my arms when I was ten. Shipped to my grandparents in San Francisco with my little brother TJ because my Mom couldn’t be bothered still…” She shook her head, “No one wants me raising a kid.”

Kerry was silent for so long that Kim finally looked over. She found Kerry staring at her intently. “What?”

“You’re full of shit.”

“Excuse me.”

Kerry closed her eyes, “You heard me. You would have been an amazing Mom to little Jon. Now-- shush-- watch your movie…” She opened one eye, “And next time I choose what we watch, this one…” She shook her head, laid it against Kim, and Kim smiled.


	7. December 8th, 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, and in others. Like I said with the medical stuff, I also apologize if my Spanish translations are bad. Hablo suficiente español para ser peligrosa. (i.e. I mostly suck at it, and I yell at my Duolingo owl when it's 23:30 and it's like, 'don't wanna lose your streak, don't wanna lose your streak', but, I'm nearer to a year of doing it than I am to not a year doing the lessons, and, some of my three years of middle school/high school Spanish has come back, so...)

“Mom.”

“Son.”

Henry rolled his eyes, “Will you stop doing that?”

Kerry reached over and ruffled Henry’s hair, “I will, when I stop being your mother. So, what’s up?”

“Do you think you can come to my hockey game this afternoon? If you don’t feel well enough that’s okay too.”

“Oh, I’ll be there. Have I missed any of your games?”

“5 I think. And, for most of them you had really good excuses.” He paused, “I’m okay with it you know.”

“It?”

“Her.”

Kerry changed the subject, “Do you feel the need to read? Want to walk to the library?”

“We don’t have a card, and it was only yesterday that you…”

Kerry stood, “Oh, I’m going to be wiped after we do this. But, luckily there’s this invention called the chair, and every library I’ve been in has quite a few.”

Henry was silent for a moment, “I was looking forward to maybe reading the two Kyoshi novels…” He frowned, “What about the card though?”

Kerry took something off the table, “Kim has one. Said we should… go crazy.”

Henry stared at the card, “Does she realize what is about to happen to that card then?”

A laugh came from behind them, “I can guess based on my knowledge of who your Mom is, yes. Just, return them. I’d go too, but, one of my patients…”

Kerry put a hand up, “It’s okay.”

Kim opened and closed her mouth, then nodded, “Right. I’ll have my cell if you need anything.”

Henry answered before Kim could, “Kim. It’s the library, not the Antarctic.”

“You’ve never lived ‘til you’ve lived through a New England bomb cyclone.”

Kerry parried back, “Which is a gentle ocean breeze in the Bahamas compared to a bomb cyclone in Chicago.”

Kim inclined her head, “Fair point.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Whoa, Santa puked in here.”

A laugh came from the woman behind the desk, “We have a few librarians here who are very much into the Holidays, if you can’t tell.”

“Christmas?”

The woman gave another laugh, “Oh no, that’s just the start. Try all the Holidays. From Valentine’s Day to Kwanza and everything in between. Although, now that you mention it, I wonder where our Menorah got off to. Hmm…” The woman glanced around, then came back to mother and son, “Can I help you with something?”

Henry looked over at Kerry, who gestured he should go first, “Do you have teen books?”

The woman nodded, “We do. Looking for something in particular?”

“F.C. Yee. His Kyoshi series?”

She typed for a moment, “Yes. We have both on the shelf. If you go through the arch and just keep on going you’ll find the teen area. And you ma’am?”

“A chair?”

“We have lots of them, just right after the arch.”

Henry frowned, “Mom.”

“Go get your books Henry.” With one last glance at his Mom he did just that.

The woman frowned just a little, “Can I bring you some books to you, or…”

“No-- no-- thank you….”

“Bree.”

“Thank you Bree, but, I’m just going to get my energy back, and then see what you have on the shelf that looks interesting.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Mom… Mom…”

“What. Oh…”

Henry glanced one way, then the other. “I don’t think that you’re supposed to sleep in the library.” His concern turned to a smirk, “Although you weren’t snoring and there was only minimal drool.”

“Hand up young man.”

Henry pulled Kerry to her feet and then handed her a book, “It’s sorta been a bit, so, I sorta got you this. It looks new.”

“Ooh, I’ve been meaning to get an eBook of this. They had it on the shelf?”

He nodded, “Sounds fun I guess?”

“Apparently it’s quite male centric, which is not a positive, but, it’s a ton of the history of finding human’s and our genetic ancestor’s fossils.”

“Are you ready to go?”

Kerry took a breath in and let it out, “I am.”

They both went to the Circulation desk and put the 10 books that Henry had found as well as Kerry’s one down on it. Then Kerry handed the card to the new woman there. Not Bree.

The woman looked down at the card then up at the two in front of her. “You’re not Kim. You cannot get out these books because this isn’t your card.”

“She…”

The new woman interrupted Kerry, “Is she here? I don’t see her. So. I’ll take the books, and…”

Kerry stood to her full height and swallowed down the tiredness that nipped at her. “No. We, me and my Son are staying at Kim’s house. We’re not residents of Massachusetts, and so we can’t get our own card. And Kim, in her generosity said that my son and I could use her card. You can call her if you’d like, but, she is at work and honestly, shouldn’t be disturbed. So.” Kerry pinned the woman with a look.

The woman glanced between Kerry and Henry, looking them both up and down, her eyes narrowing in a way that made Kerry frown, and Henry stifle a sigh. Finally she turned imperiously, and started typing. “I will be leaving a note on her record indicating that I do not believe you and to check with her the next time she comes in. Is this all?”

Henry nodded and put an arm through his Mom’s. “Yes ma’am.”

The woman scanned all the books and handed them to Henry, and couldn’t resist one last dig, “You should be in school young man.”

Henry blinked a couple of times, then spoke, “ _Yo hablo dos lenguas. Estoy bien_...” He gathered the books in one hand and he and Kerry left the building before the woman could answer.

They’d gotten halfway to the sidewalk when Bree jogged out to them. “I’m sorry… Oh, I don’t know your name.”

“Kerry Weaver, and this is my son Henry.”

Bree nodded, “I’m sorry Henry, and I’m sorry Kerry. For how Nan acted, on multiple levels. Did you get what you wanted?”

Henry nodded, “We did.”

“Good. Good. Again. I’m so sorry.”

Henry spoke again, “It’s happened before, and it will happen again.”

Bree shook her head so hard Kerry was sure it’d bounce right off, “Oh no it won’t. I’m the Circulation Head here. So, no, no it will not happen again.” She seemed to smile to herself, “Family is family.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Wait. What did he say though? To Not Nice Nan.”

Kerry squinted at Kim, “You do not really call her that, do you?”

Kim made a face, “Uh, I plead the fifth. She’s… hard to get along with, even for me. C’mon, c’mon. I got speak and two…”

“He said that he speaks two languages. So he’s fine.” Kerry shook her head, “He shouldn’t be talking back to adults. And I should be used to getting bad looks because he’s not ghost like white like I am, but, it still hurts. He’s my son. He could be any color of the rainbow and I would not care.”

Kerry cleared her throat, “Anyway. I should get over to Henry’s game. Did everything go okay with your patient?”

“It did. I mean, not great, but, she’s alive and well, and that’s good for the moment. Oh, and, it’s going to be we. I’m driving you. Henry told me about you falling asleep in the chair. Kerry…”

“Kim… You’re not my mother. I’m fine.”

“You’re not…” Kim trailed off as something hit her on the head, “What the… what did I just walk into…” She looked up and closed her eyes. “Your son has a sense of humor.”

Kerry looked up, “Mistletoe.” She paused, “And he found actual mistletoe, not holly.”

“Wait, what?”

“Mistletoe. White berries. Holly. Red ones.”

Kim put a hand to her heart, “But…” she stood there, thinking. “That means… in all the movies, and pictures, and TV…”

Kerry smiled, “Yep. A lot of them are kissing under the red berried Holly, which, I will say, is a slightly prettier parasite than mistletoe.”

Kim brushed a lock of hair out of Kerry’s eyes, “I’m going to have a long talk to Angel about giving poisonous plants to young men he doesn’t know. Do you believe in the tradition?”

“I--” Kerry reached up and put a hand on Kim’s neck, gently guiding the blonde down those five inches and kissing her. Kim’s hands cupped both of Kerry’s cheeks as she explored the lips and mouth that she’d only dreamed about for the last 19 years.

Finally they parted, and Kim rested her forehead against Kerry’s. “That was…”

Kerry picked up the thought, “...different, but good?”

Kim laughed and that got a smile from Kerry. “Oh my God, that morning. That morning.”

“Well, this time, I mean it was different than years ago, but, you’re definitely still one of the best kissers.

“One of…” Kim stood to her full height, “One of?” Her eyes twinkled. “Top 5?”

Kerry just rolled her eyes, “Top two.”

Kim wiped some non-existent sweat off her brow, “Oh, phew… I’m good with top two. So… ready to take a… Car. Ride. to see your son get bashed against the wall repeatedly?”

“Boards.”

“What?”

Kerry shook her head with a smile, “Never mind.”


	8. December 14th, 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the time in between chapter seven and eight. More will hopefully be going up today and perhaps tomorrow. I know most of those reading can probably relate, but, somehow, even after 10 months of this year just being... rubbish and so hard to get through, these last few weeks of December are now 5 times as hard as those previous months.
> 
> Hey.... it was still shorter than between chapters in Baby Blue!

“Are you sure?”

Kerry caught Kim’s hand, “I give you my word that I will simply read my book about bones and the men who find them. And no matter what, will not help anyone at all. Loreen as my witness.”

Loreen held her hands up, “Don’t bring me into this. Sit.”

Kerry sat, “Go. I’ll be okay.” She pinned her son with a look, “Henry…”

Henry was silent for a moment, “You just want a Christmas present.”

Kerry rolled her eyes, “Go already Henry Guillermo…”

He leaned over to kiss Kerry’s cheek, then he and Kim left the room. Kerry let her breath out, “Are you always Switzerland Loreen?”

Loreen laughed, “Always. So-- what are you reading?”

“Ah- Christmas in Mistletoe by Clare Lydon. So far, I’m enjoying it.”

“Good, and you’re all set. Remember…”

Kerry gave a faux salute, “Don’t move a muscle except to tap for the next page.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“You good Henry?”

Henry shook his head, “There were, what, four thoughts in those three words?”

Kim gave Henry a faux push, “Go shop kid. Meet you back here?” Henry nodded and they went their separate ways.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Loreen spoke with a smile, “Well, that was more like it.”

“Thank you Loreen. I’ve worked with many nurses-- you aren’t the best ever--” Loreen laughed and Kerry smiled, “But, you’d give them a run for their money.”

“Shouldn’t your watcher be here? Hovering in her office ‘til she knows you’re done? Or your son?”

“They’re shopping. Kim…” Kerry shook her head, “I was worried that Henry’s December would be all about my cancer. And then Kim Legaspi walked into my hospital room and… she has brought the Christmas spirit into this horrible time. She got him onto a hockey team somehow, decorated her house with him, got a tree. Hell, they made snow… somethings.”

“I’d say it’s the other way around though. Hi-- I’m Dr. Lee Smith.”

Kerry frowned, “I don’t--”

“Dr. Legs was covering for me and my pukey child. I’m the one who was supposed to be consulting on you.”

Kerry carefully stood and held her hand out. Lee shook it, “Thank you, and thank…”

“Lloyd.”

Kerry stared at Lee and Loreen chuckled, then left Lee and Kerry alone. “Lloyd?”

Lee shook her head, “My father-in-law’s name. Anyway-- I just wanted to stop by and apologize. But, apparently it worked out okay.”

Kerry pulled Lee aside and they sat in chairs that were along the wall, “What did you mean by, it’s the other way around?”

“I’ve never seen Kim celebrate Christmas fully. And, she always works Christmas Day. But, this year she’s taken it off.” Lee smiled, “It’s good to see her happy.”

Both women fell silent as Henry and Kim appeared. Kim gave half a bow, “Your chariot awaits…” and held out her elbow. Henry rolled his eyes at Kerry, but also seemed relieved when his mother took Kim’s help.

“Your chariot probably needs an upgrade, it’s making a hell of a sound.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kim was still giving Kerry the silent treatment as Kim pulled into her driveway. Then the feeling in the car abruptly changed. From cutely annoyed to frigid. Kerry looked over at Kim, then followed her gaze to the house’s front porch. Henry asked the question, “Who’s that?”

Kim sighed, “My mother, Eve Legaspi.”

Kerry and Henry spoke in unison, “Oh--”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kim stood at the sink looking out into her backyard and making circles above her right eye. “Mom-- you can have the couch or nothing. Kerry is being treated for cancer and she and Henry are my guests, so…”

“I am your mother Kimberly Legaspi. How can you just…”

“Kim?”

Kim glanced at Henry, “I know what you’re going to say Henry and…”

Henry cut Kim off, “It’s not like I have a ton of stuff Kim, and your couch is long enough I think, and super comfortable. I’ll chuck my stuff in the back of Mom’s room closet and use the couch. It’s okay.” He smirked, “I’m definitely the most bendable of all of us-- although…” He turned and winced, “Billy got me with a stick and it does hurt.”

Kim was silent and still for a long moment, then turned. “Thank you Henry.” She glanced at her mother. “Right at the top of the stairs and to the end of the hall.” She looked back to Henry as Eve started up the stairs, “Your Mom?”

“Taking a nap.”

Kim blew out a breath. “I apologize for that Henry.”

Henry shrugged, “I’ll live. Ah-- I wondered-- could I use your kitchen…” Kim started to answer, but Henry wasn’t done, “And your fridge, oh, and your pantry?”

Kim laughed, “Do what you’re gonna do kid. Kerry’s quite the cook and baker, so, wow us…”

“Thank you Kim.”

“You’re very welcome Henry.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Sorry about my mother at dinner.”

Kerry didn’t move from her reclined position on the deck chair, “Visually she’s like an older mini you, although I’d guess her hair has had a little help. Then she opens her mouth.” Kerry shook her head, “It takes more than someone staring at me intently to unnerve me Kim. I promise.”

Kim whispered next to Kerry’s ear, “Even me?”

Kerry coughed and tried to catch her breath, “Ah… I take the fifth.”

Kim smiled, but as there was a clatter inside the smile dissipated, “And it’s not even about you. When I was 16 I came out to TJ and my grandparents. They were all amazing about it.” A laugh bubbled from Kim, “My grandfather in his stern voice said, ‘don’t think this will mean your girlfriends won’t be interrogated young lady’.” Kerry smiled.

“Then I had the idea that I should tell my mother too. We knew where she was, and, at that point, it was definitely clear that she wasn’t going to be in our day to day lives. Still. It didn’t go well-- she’s not-- hateful about it. But…” Kim shook her head, and changed the subject, “Aren’t you cold Ker?” Kim shivered.

“Kim, I grew up in Minnesota and have a spent a good bit of my life in Chicago.” She held the blanket open just a bit, “It’s warmer over here.”

“Kerry.”

“Kim. We’re both adults.”

Kim was still for one last second, then stood and slid in next to Kerry. “Oh, that’s definitely better.” She paused for a second, “Ker, are you flirting with me?”

“Obviously not very well. I can stop.”

Kim pulled Kerry closer to her, “No. Don’t. I never thought I’d see you again you know. Actually, if I’m being honest I assumed you’d be married by now. With a couple of kids.” Kim frowned when Kerry gave a stuttering breath, “What did I say?”

“A year before Sandy had Henry, a year and a week. I tried to get pregnant via IVF. I lost the baby.”

“Oh Ker, that’s horrible.”

A half hearted laugh came from Kim’s shoulder area, “You’d think that the whole dying thing would mean I don’t have other sore spots.” They fell silent.

“Thank you Kim.” Kerry looked over, “For everything you didn’t have to do, but have done anyway.” Kerry and Kim’s gazes met and after a beat Kerry stretched up and kissed Kim. Then lay her head on Kim’s chest and closed her eyes.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“She has no hair Kimberly.”

“And still is the most beautiful woman in the world. What’s your point.” Eve didn’t answer, “Mom-- why are you here?”

“It’s Christmas young lady.”

Kim finally turned and crossed her arms over her chest, “First, I’m not young anymore, and I’ve never been any sort of lady. Second, you gave up the right to use that term when you left and didn’t ever look back. Why are you here?”

Eve stared at Kim, “I need your help.TJ… I need part of TJ’s liver. He listens to you. He--”

Kim cut Eve off, “Is my family-- if he’s said no, I respect that. I’m going to bed.” She brushed by Eve, leaving her alone in the kitchen.

Kim came to a stop at the top of the stairs, “You should be resting.”

“I rested pretty well out on the deck.” Kim could only see half of Kerry’s face, the other half in shadow, “I needed to use the bathroom. I didn’t mean to hear your conversation.”

Kim shrugged, “I’ll be fine.” She tried to go by Kerry into the master bedroom, but Kerry stepped into her path. “You’re going to tell me that she’s my Mom-- that at least she and I are talking.”

“No. I wanted you to know that I know about pain in the ass mothers that you love despite yourself, and I’m here if you need to talk.” She gripped Kim’s shoulder for just a moment, and then continued to her bedroom.


	9. December 15th, 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize profusely to any and all Spanish speakers who read this for probably getting the Spanish stuff wrong. I’m better at it than I was last year, and hope to get even better in 2021. But, I’m still pretty basic at it, and… I mean, I’m learning it through an app. So, I think of it this way. I know just enough to be horribly dangerous at Spanish usage. :)

Henry laughed, “ _Sí, Sí. Te amo. Tenga cuidado y manténgase seguro._ ”

Henry handed the phone back to Kerry. “Nana is complaining about us not coming to Chicago for Christmas.”

Kerry shook her head, “That’s Florina.” She paused, “You could go by yourself. You’re 16.”

Henry quickly shook his head, “I won’t Mama-- no.”

“Just a suggestion Henry. So, what’s your plan today?”

“Learn something? Or read something? And then there’s a hockey practice this afternoon.”

“Sounds good.”

“Love you Mom.”

Kerry smiled and kissed his cheek, “I love you too Henry.”

He left the room and she jumped as the phone that was still in her hand rang. She frowned. The number was unknown, but had a Chicago prefix. “Hello?”

“Kerry Weaver, why didn’t you tell me you were dying of brain cancer?”

Kerry smiled and sat down, “Haleh.”

“You haven’t answered my question Kerry.”

“Was it really a question? How are you Haley? Your family? The other former ER nurses?”

Haleh was silent for a moment, “Kerry-- Doctor Weaver--”

Kerry cut Haleh off, “You know you were right the first time. And, I really haven’t told most people from pre-Miami. Abby and Kim know, my son, Sandy’s parents and brothers. But, I haven’t told my ex, or even Mlugnisi.”

“Christmas-- 1995. The first time some people at County realized you were human. Are you doing okay Kerry?”

Kerry considered her answer, “Not as bad as the first go-round, but, not a fun time either.”

“Lydia had breast cancer last year--”

“Oh--” Kerry put a hand to her heart.

Haley quickly continued, “She’s okay. Are you on Facebook? We have a group. County Nurses, PAs, support staff, a couple of doctors.”

“I do use it a little, but Haleh, I wasn’t…”

“You were good to all of us. Especially Jeanie. She’s on there. Look, I’ll send you a friend request and then you can just think on it.” She paused, “Is it okay if I tell everyone else? About your diagnoses?”

Kerry chuckled, “You haven’t already? Yes, Haleh, thank you.”

“I will pray that you have strength to win this battle.”

“Merry Christmas Haleh.”

“Merry Christmas Kerry.”

Kerry hung up and without look up, balled up and tossed the nearest napkin towards the doorway. A squawk came from the person there and Kerry turned, “Eavesdropping is wrong. As is tattling to the head nurse.”

“Haleh’s retired.”

“You know what I mean. Are you on their group?”

“I am. I think that the other doctors are Elizabeth and Carter. I mostly lurk though. My bet is that most of them have forgotten I’m there. I mostly..” Kim trailed off.

“You joined to find out about me? Really Kim?”

Kim waved a hand, “I was just wondering, and it was stupid.”

“It’s very… you… Kim.” Kerry stood and caught Kim’s hands before she could cross her arms. “If there’s one thing I know about Kimberly Legaspi it’s that you are always you. Which is why I know that whatever you decide to do about your mother and brother situation, it will be the right thing to do.”

Kim blew out a breath, “First, I’m going to Skype with my brother.”

“I’ll--”

Kim caught Kerry’s hand, “Meet him.” SHe guided Kerry into the den and closed the door, “Kim…”

“Hear me out.” Kim let go of Kerry’s hand, “You met my Mom-- not a great thing. Now, meet TJ, a much better one.”

Kerry considered for a moment, “Sure, yes, okay.” She sat as Kim also took a seat in front of the computer. “Okay, fair warning, he’s weird…” Kerry gave Kim a look, “What? I’m not weird. I’m-- rad.”

“And he’ll be home right now?”

Kim clicked on ‘TJ’, “He’s a writer and stay at home Dad.”

“I am indeed. Hey Kimmy-- I assume that this is your new wife that you’ve obtained for the Christmas Season to piss off our mother?”

Kim groaned, “Teej… stop reading so many fake dating lesfic novels okay?”

TJ laughed and even though he was on the screen it seemed to brighten the whole room. He looked very alike to his sister. His short hair had tight curls in it, and was cut close to his head on the sides, while the top was just a mess. His blue eyes shown with just as much twinkle as Kim’s did when she was being an imp as well. “But, Kimmy…. They’re soooo goood. You should have hid them when you were a young lesbian. Then I’d be a stuffy accountant reading boring nonfiction as any ‘good’ male should.”

Kim just shook her head for a few moments before gathering herself, “TJ Legaspi, this is Kerry Weaver.”

TJ’s facial expression went serious. “Really?” He frowned, “Kim.”

They both looked over when Kerry laughed, “You see Thomas Jr. That was the reaction I was expecting from your sister.” Her expression sobered, “I’m glad that someone in the family seems to remember what I put your sister through.”

“Nah.” He waved a hand, “She stuffs it all down too much to react with anger. Don’t know where she puts it either. For most people it would explode after a while.” He wiggled his fingers, “It’s my big sister’s magic trick. That said,” he stared at Kerry, “You break my sister’s heart again and I’ll break all the bones in your body…. Twice.”

“TJ.”

“What?”

“So…” Kim paused, and changed the subject, “You talked to Mom?”

“She never gave us a thing Kim. But, if you want to have part of your body ripped out, possibly have complications,hell, maybe die on the table-- that’s up to you.”

Kim took a breath in and slowly let it out, “TJ…”

Kerry spoke, “While a liver is easier to donate now than it’s ever been, you’re right TJ. It’s still very dangerous.” She sighed, “So much of what we do to save people has to hurt them too.”

“Chemo?”

Kerry nodded, “Chemo. I can’t say I know what I’d do if my birth mother came to me needing a part of my liver. I only know that although I doubt I’m a match, I’d give any part of me to my son, to Carlos, to Abby or Joe, and maybe even to you Kim.”

Kim sighed, “You can give it to my Mom then.” Kerry put a hand on Kim’s shoulder and left it there. KIm took another deep breath and let it out, “I don’t know if I can do it or not. But, I don’t blame you for saying no little brother. Got that?”

TJ nodded and swallowed, “When you choose to do this, please, don’t die?” Kim nodded, “You, Marie, Trip, Marty, you’re all I’ve got left.” He didn’t let Kim respond, “Better topics. Are you planning to hit that gorgeous woman who’s dying while also comforting you?”

Kim sputtered and Kerry laughed, “TJ-- TJ, you’re the same pissant imp Legaspi as your sister. Your grandparents must have had their hands full with you two teenagers =.”

TJ smirked, “I was easy compared to Kimmy there. It’s a good thing I’m her brother or I’d have permanently black eyes from our childhood together.”

“That I don’t believe.”

His smirk only grew, “Yeah, but, it sounds good right?”

“It does. But, I know Kim just well enough to know that no matter what you did, what you do, she loves completely. She’d love you no matter what. She loves women she knows will hurt her in the end.”

“Very true. I wondered about you, you know. What woman could screw her up so much, and a straight woman at that.”

“Not quite straight.”

Kim finally found her voice, “I am still in the room you know. Would you like me leave?”

“Sure.”

“Yep.”

Kim shook her head, “I’m going to go make some coffee.” She stood and left the room.

Kerry watched her go, then turned back to the screen to see a frowning TJ, “You still like her. Are you going to break her heart again Dr. Kerry Weaver?”

Kerry was still, then ran a hand over her bald head, “Yes-- because-- more likely than not-- like last time this won’t work.”

TJ took in a breath just like his sister and let it out nearly identically too. Kerry had to stifle her smile, “You staying with her though, that was her idea?”

“It was, yes. Me and my son staying here.”

TJ put his hands over his eyes for a long moment and just sat there. He took it away and looked past Kerry to Kim, who had re-entered the room, “Sometimes I wish there weren’t a country in between us Big Sis.”

“Me too TJ.”

Kerry stood, “Now it’s my turn to leave. I think I’m ready for my mid-morning nap, which will be followed by my after lunch nap, and possibly a mid afternoon nap.” She leaned down and gave Kim a peck on the lips and then they both froze, their faces centimeters apart, “I-- ah--” Kerry pointed towards the door and then left.

“Kim… Oh Kim…”

Kim sighed, “Don’t start TJ, okay? Please.”

He held his hands up. “I won’t.” He turned, “Marty-- Trip--”

Two tow headed children appeared in the picture, Marty, Kim’s niece, and Trip, aka Thomas Legaspi the Third, Kim’s nephew. They climbed all over their father until they were comfortable. “Hi Aunt Kim.”

“Hey pipsqueaks. Are you guys ready for Christmas?”

Marty went first, “I asked for an older brother.”

Kim laughed, “I think that’s gonna be hard, young lady.”

Marty shook her head, “No. I asked Santa, and he’s magic, so it will happen Aunt Kim.”

Trip chimed in with his question, “Aunt Kim, are you coming here for Christmas?”

Kim sighed, “Sorry buddy, no. No, we can talk again after you open your presents, but, no, I’m here this year.”

He gave a weighty sigh, “It’s not fair.”

“I know.”

There was a knock on the den door, and Henry stuck his head in, “Oh-- you’re--I’ll.”

“Come in Henry. This is my brother TJ and his kids Marty and Trip. This is Kerry’s son Henry.”

Marty blurted, “You don’t look like your Mommy’s picture. Why?”

Henry laughed, “Well, I had two Mamas. My Mom that you saw a picture of, Kerry, and my Mama Sandy. When I was really little Mama Sandy died.”

“Oh-” Marty looked sheepish, “Sorry.”

“Thank you. But, it’s okay, the Mom I have right now is amazing.”

Marty’s head bobbed up and down, “So’s mine-- ours--”

“Make sure she knows that, always, okay?”

Marty squirmed, “Daddy, let go, I need to draw…”

Trip chimed in, “Me too, me too.”

They got down and were off the screen in the space of a second.

TJ shook his head, “I apologize Henry. My son, and especially my daughter can be very straightforward.”

Henry shrugged, “It’s okay. They didn’t say it rudely, just wanted to know. How else will they learn? I’ll leave you two alone. I just wondered if you’d drive me down the block this afternoon Kim. It’s, ah, pouring buckets out there.”

“Not a problem.”

Henry closed the door behind him and TJ sighed, “Oh Kim, big sister, be careful. Don’t get your heart broken by those two.”

Kim glanced at the door, “I think it may be too late TJ.” She turned back to the screen, “I love you little brother, and give my love to Marie too.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Why are you always outside? It’s freezing out here.”

Kerry wrapped the blanket tighter, “It’s bracing. Reminds me I’m alive.” Kerry smiled, “My wife Sandy… she was a furnace. Ran hot in all the ways, from internal temperature to… more adult ways. We lived in Chicago, and would go out on the back stoop. She’d hold me in her arms andI never felt more safe or warm.”

Eve cleared her throat, “Right. Henry’s mother.”

“Yes.”

Eve looked away, “I don’t believe in that. I’ve told Kim that. I just… I don’t believe that you, or she… you just haven’t found the right man.”

Kerry shook her head, “The thing is Mrs. Legaspi. It’s not something that you can believe or not believe. It just is.”

Eve harrumphed, “Well, you have your opinion, I have mine. At least you’re not showy about it.”

Kerry laughed, “14 or so years ago, you would have been right. I had a two year old little boy, was trying to juggle him, a job, and have a bit of a private life. I thought that if I came out to everyone I met, it would just add stress. Who has time for things like annual Pride, or helping out the younger lesbians, gays, bisexuals? Just. Focus on Henry and not having everything fall apart.”

Kerry smiled, “Then I met Courtney. Previously I’d dragged my partners --back-- into the closet with me. Even Sandy. Courtney-- she--” Kerry shook her head, “Courtney hurt me in the end, but, she also took us to Miami Pride, we went to the next one, and the one after that. It was never a perfect experience. The L, G, B, T, and sundry have very little in common other than people like you hate us. That can cause some tension, but, the people I met there… they were there for me, and I assume some of them were there for Courtney too, when we broke up. They were there for the trainwreck of my first round of Chemo too. Food for us, distractions for Henry, a couple of them wanted to come up with me for this too.”

Kerry turned to face Eve, “So, I may not have rainbow tattoos, or other obviously outward signs that I’m out and proud, but, that’s because of who I’ve always been, not because I’m ‘not showy’. My name is Kerry Weaver, I love women, and, to be honest, I want to fuck your daughter.”

Eve gasped and Kerry only barely hid her smile. She stuttered, “You… you have a son, and you took him to… to… that sort of event? To see… to see all that… men, and women, and… ?”

Kerry cut Eve off, “Loving couples raising children, people of all ages, colors, religions, and everything else being themselves. Learning to love themselves.” Kerry paused, “Be themselves. You’re damn right I took him to it.”

Henry bounded up the deck’s outside stairs, his hockey bag on his back, a smile on his face. “Mama--”

Eve gasped again, louder. “What happened to you? Your face.”

Henry smirked, “Face shield broke. Somebody even got it on their phone, super impressive, luckily I have a fast blink, and it missed my smile too.”

Kerry shook her head, “Lean down.” He did and only winced a little as Kerry palpated his cheek. “Do you need a new face shield?”

“Nah, we replaced it and I kept playing after they made sure I didn’t have a concussion.”

Kerry narrowed her eyes, “And, did you tell your coach the truth when having that test?”

Henry stood up straight and held up a hand, “Nothing. I promise, and I’ll tell you if I start feeling weird.” He leaned down and kissed Kerry on the cheek, “Love you Mama-- I’m so hungry…” He slipped through the sliding door.

“He… he got hurt playing hockey, and you don’t care?”

Kerry opened her mouth to respond, but Kim appeared and spoke first. “You’re one to talk.Once you left your son got in fights almost every day after school for a month before Dad and I figured out what was going on. A Month.” She turned away from Eve. “Ker?”

Kerry gave a nod. Kim picked up her, blanket and all, and took her inside and to the master bedroom. “You’re having a bath tonight.”

“Oh-- I am? Not we?”

Kim smiled, “I thought you preferred our shared showers?”

“Beggers can’t be choosers.”


	10. December 21st, 2020

“Mom. After… are we going to stay here, or go back to Miami, or?”

Kerry was still for a moment, “I don’t know. Where do you want to be? Chicago with Uncle Carlos and everyone, Miami with your friends?”

Henry shrugged, “Just with you. Me alive. You alive. Maybe door #3?”

“Nurture…” Kerry shook her head with a smile.

Henry frowned, “What?”

“Nothing. I love you Henry.”

“Even when I’m in trouble?”

“Especially then. And when you’re brilliant, and stupid. When you remind me of Mama Sandy, and when you remind me of me. Sandy, she loved Chicago, she was never going to leave for longer than a vacation. Me… I have a bit more wanderlust in me.”

“Today is the last Chemo.” Kerry nodded, “Is Kim going, or?”

“Is that okay?”

Henry nodded, “I have… well… sorta schoolwork.”

Kerry laughed, “My boy.”

Henry rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, hey Kim.”

“Henrich.” Henry gave Kim a look, “Just trying something new. It was horrible, I can hear that now. Will definitely stick with Henry or kid from this point forward.”

“Ready to go?” Kerry nodded and stood, “I’d like to stay this time?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll get your coat.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Henry laughed, “C’mon, really?”

“What are you doing Henry?”

Henry closed his eyes for a second, then moved to one side, “This is Lara, we went to school together in Miami. She’s home sick and is catching me up, or, I’m helping her catch up.”

The young woman on the screen gave a hurf, “Nice try Henry.”

Henry glanced over at Eve, “Mrs. Legaspi… this is personal, and nothing is going on other than talking.”

Eve gave him and Lara a look, then turned on her heel and left. Lara shot Henry a look, “That’s Kim’s Mom?”

“Yeah-- she either doesn’t like me because she’s racist, because she thinks I’m gay like Mom, or because my Mom is gay for Kim and she doesn’t want Kim and my Mom together.” He shook his head, “Or all three.”

Lara was silent, which caused Henry to frown, “What’s wrong Lara, you’ve been all…” he made a pinched face, “this whole talk.”

Lara was silent for another beat before she answered, “We’re moving back to San Francisco. It’s my Dad and his job, and, when you come back to Miami, I won’t be there. Who will help me pass Spanish? Hell, who will help me pass English, and Social Studies, and…” She trailed off.

Henry sat back in the chair, “Actually, I don’t know if we’re going back to Miami either. Or Chicago, or somewhere else.” Henry put a hand to his head, “I just wish that everything would stop. You know, just.”

“Stop. Yeah. But, Henry, your Mom’s going to be fine.”

He looked away, “You can’t know that.”

Lara laughed, “Henry, have you met your Mom. Nothing stops her, and her leaving you. Yeah right, that’s not going to happen.”

“Hope you’re right.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“This is boring.”

Kerry smiled, “Now you see why I had to save the person. Made it less boring. It’s okay if you want to catch up on some work. We’re here.”

Kim didn’t move. “So, there’s this song. It’s from a weird musical with an older man creeping on a younger woman he’s directing. But, the song itself-- my Dad would sing it to my Mom.” She shook her head, “I think that my Mom only heard the words, not the meaning behind them. They…”

Kerry cut Kim off, “I know the song, I-- Robert Preston, Mack and Mabel.” Kim stared at Kerry, “What?”

She smiled, “Still surprising me.” Her grin sobered, “The song isn’t saying that she should run away, not really, though that’s what the words say. It’s saying that he’s broken, but wants to be better. That she deserves to be happy and so he doesn’t expect anything.” Kim shook her head, “I know that then, and now, I’m reading too much into a random song from a so-so musical.”

Kerry took Kim’s hand in her own free one, “It’s okay.”

Kim looked down at their hands, then up at Kerry, “No, it’s not. I’m broken, I probably have been since I held my father in my arms the night we were hit by the damn drunk driver. And I’m an idiot. I didn’t see it until these last couple of weeks. I’m not unhappy, but, I’m just not happy either.” Kim tried to take her hand away, but Kerry didn’t let her. “I’m sorry. I’m saying this all wrong.” A half strangled laugh came from her throat, “May as well double down. Kerry Weaver, this past month you’ve made me happy again. Truly happy. I loved you twenty years ago and I love you now.” She paused, “I think maybe I never stopped loving you.” Kerry was silent, “I don’t expect.”

Kerry leaned forward, put her hand on Kim’s cheek and guided their lips together in a kiss that lingered.

That is until a throat cleared, “I think you’re about done.”

Kim pulled back, “I’ll--” She stood and was out of the room in a blink.

Loreen winced, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

Kerry sat still as Loreen unhooked her, “It’s okay. She’s-- it’s all very complicated. Our past, her past, my cancer, Henry’s probably thrown in there somewhere too.”

Loreen helped Kerry to stand, “I’m not officially off, and,” she glanced towards the doorway, “I get the feeling that Doctor Legaspi isn’t coming back anytime soon. Would you like a ride home?”

Kerry studied Loreen, “Do you know Chuny Marquez? You can tell her that you’re taking great care of me.”

“She’s my cousin-in-law or something like that. How could you even guess that?”

Kerry smiled, “I have many skills. And, yes, if you don’t mind, a ride would be great. My nurse would be mad if I tried to walk.”

Loreen laughed.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Kim. What the hell?”

Kim sat with her back against the wall of someone’s tomb, her hand cradled in her lap, her very bloody hand. “Don’t start Lee, okay? Just… I’m fine.” Kim looked up, “Why are you here?”

“Loreen called me. You kissed Kerry and then just walked out? I thought you had more game than that?”

“She kissed me. And it was… real, and had me… it was perfect. We fit together.”

“So, why are you here, where it’s freezing, bleeding out on some random guy’s place of burial?”

“Please. Leave me alone Lee.”

Lee sighed, “You call me when you get home. And if that doesn’t happen in the next hour, I’m calling in reinforcements.”

Kim frowned, “Reinforcements?”

Lee pursed her lips, “Yes… someone, some… people. I don’t know who yet. You suck at being a friend and no one likes you, so… they probably wouldn’t come anyway.”

Kim smiled just a little, “Less than an hour. Got it.”

Lee put a hand on Kim’s shoulder, “You should talk to her. Whatever is happening in your brain, talk to her.”

“I know.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kim stood just outside the sliding door to her deck. She watched as Kerry’s chest slowly raised and lowered. She went to the red head’s side, “Ker?”

Kerry blinked and looked up, “Kim?”

“May I sit?” Kerry nodded and looked a little confused as Kim slipped in behind her, arranging the blanket over both of them. “I-- I don’t know if I can face you for this conversation.”

Kim felt a quick laugh by Kerry. “Kim, you told me you loved me. I kissed you. Then you ran off. I’m pretty sure you can’t face me for this conversation.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kerry sighed, “No. I’m sorry Kim. We just found one another again and I’m doing what your father did. Loving you and then leaving you.”

“You’re not.” Kim paused, “My Dad… I didn’t get to tell him all the things I should have. Now-- with you-- first of all, on Thursday they’re going to get it all and you’ll have kicked cancer’s ass. If they don’t-- I will take time off, Henry will take time off. We’ll go yell at your birth mother. We’ll go to Disney World or Land or Gettysburg or wherever else pops into our heads. And I will tell you everything I have to. Like apologizing for twenty years ago.”

Kerry started to speak, but Kim didn’t let her. “I had. I have been out to basically everyone since I was thirteen. You were pleading with me to give you just a little of the time that I’d had as a kid getting used to my sexuality. You were begging me for me to understand that you’d get to where I was, but needed time. I wasn’t listening. I was only seeing you as like all the other straight women, I was only thinking of me.”

Kerry spoke, “You know it wasn’t just you Kim. I let fear override love. It doesn’t help us back then, but, I haven’t let that happen since then. Even when trusting hurt me in the end.” She looked upside down at Kim, “This-- us-- our second chance-- it may only be three days more, not even, general anesthesia is always a gamble… but…”

Kim kissed Kerry, “I don’t care.”

“Will you look after Henry-- not adopt him...that is all set, Abby will be his guardian. Not that you wouldn’t be a great Mom, it’s just…”

“Shh… yes. Yes, I will look in on him, whether he’s here or wherever he is. He’s an awesome kid. You’ve done an amazing job.”

Kerry smiled, “Sometimes. On occasion he’s a brat. But, I love him more than anything else in this world.” She looked up at Kim again, “And I love you too Kim. The way you so effortlessly care-- your horribly amazing and disturbing sense of humor. It doesn’t hurt that you’re gorgeous.”

“Kerry--”

“I’ve loved five people in my life. Mlungisi, my ex, you, Sandy, and Courtney.”

Kim cracked a smile, “Guess I’m glad I’m still on that list.”

“Well, Mlungisi’s in London right now, and the word love is firmly past tense usage in regards to Courtney and my ex. So, you’re topping the list right now.”

Kim smiled and closed her eyes, “Good to know. Want to go in?”

“Not yet, it’s looks like it’s clearing and I want to see the conjunction.”

“The what now?”

Kerry shook with laughter, “Jupiter and Saturn looked like one star earlier… you can still see them too. Watch with me?”

“Forever.”


	11. December 24th, 2020

“Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg…”

“Henry.”

“Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker ran awayyyyayyy…”

Kerry sighed, “I don’t think the nurses appreciate your… mangling of that song.”

“Mom… I’m 16 and roguishly good looking. I’m good to go.”

“Henry Guillermo…”

Henry laughed as he came to a stop next to the surgical floor’s nursing station. “My Mom is here to get a part of her brain plucked out. I’d really appreciate it if you guys could get her back to me in a similar condition to now? Maybe a bit better?”

The nurse nodded, a twinkle in her eye, “We’ll do our best young man. Now, you seem to have a good handle on the steering of that chair, so, if you’ll follow me.”

Henry snorted, “She said handle.”

The nurse smiled to herself as she led them to the room.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“So?”

“So what?”

“So-- you talked to her?”

“Yes.”

“And--”

Kim looked up, “And nothing. Today we all focus on this surgery. If it goes well then we go from there. If it doesn’t then… we go from there.”

Lee hurfed, “Oh-- c’mon-- it’s Christmas-time-- give me more than that Kim…”

Kim’s lips twitched, “She fell asleep in my arms after we talked. Make no mistake I plan to…” Kim cleared her throat, “Not talk with you about that part of our relationship… but, holding her in my arms like that. It was… I’ve only ever been struck speechless like that, touched like that when I had sex. This was… the first time around we were both so busy, and, we were either sleeping or doing other things, or up and getting ready. But last night.”

She cleared her throat and crossed her arms over her chest, “Unfortunately, we were outside,so…”

“You’re like one of those pulsar’s right now Kim. You know that right? Just beaming out into the universe your happiness and your gayness.”

Kim chuckled. “Thank you. I think?”

“I-- I don’t pray a lot, but, I will for Doctor Weaver.”

“Thank you Lee. You don’t know how much that means to me.” She took a breath and stood, “Okay, I should…” They both looked over as they heard a voice in the hall demanding to see Kim, “My mother.”

Lee opened Kim’s office door and peeked out, “She’s far enough away, go, I’ll stall her.”

“You can…” Kim paused, “If it gets her to go back to my house you can tell her that my decision is yes… but, not today, and not until I know that Kerry will be okay.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Hey.”

Kerry looked up as Kim and an orderly entered. “Hi.” She went to Kerry’s side, then glanced over at Henry and back to Kerry. The red head gave a short nod and Kim leaned down, giving Kerry a shorter than she wanted to kiss. She wasn’t going to push it, no matter how cool with it Henry seemed.

Kim started to straighten up, but Kerry stopped her. Kerry pulled the cross from under Kim’s shirt. She stared at it for a moment, then let go.

Kerry took Kim’s hand in her right, and Henry’s in her left. “You two get something to eat okay. This is not going to be a super quick surgery.”

Kim nodded, “Yes. Yeah, we will.” She stepped back. Henry gave his Mom a hug and did too.

They stood in silence until the room was empty. Henry glanced at Kim, “Does that mean I have to call you Mom now?”

“Funny Henry-- very funny.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Hey--” Kim sat down next to Henry in the chapel. “Did my Mom chase you from the waiting room?” Henry shrugged, “Sorry about that. She’s here because she needs something from me, nothing to do with you or Kerry.”

Henry shrugged again, “She looks at me like I’m an alien. A green one, not another country one.”

“Me too-- she always has. So. You okay? I mean, other than the fact that your Mom’s having brain surgery as we speak, and all we’ve had to eat were some things that really shouldn’t be allowed to be called sandwiches.”

Henry stared straight ahead, “Every Christmas Eve since I was born Mama Sandy, then Mom read, ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’ to me. Even recently when I sorta--” He swallowed, “Last year I told her I didn’t want to do it this year… and now…”

Kim put an arm around Henry, “You found it?”

“They had it in the hospital… well… hospital shelf of books.” He held it up, “Cheryl Harness, illustrator. I’ve never seen this version, the art is really cool.”

“You’re reading it?”

“Yeah--” An almost manic laugh came fromHenry, “Like, maybe if I read it over and over until she’s out then she’ll be okay? Stupid huh?”

“Not stupid at all. May I wait with you in here?”

Henry looked up from the book and over at Kim, “You two are like… Bolero. It’s the same tune as 20 years ago, but, you’re playing it on slightly different instruments. It’s finally the violin’s turn, they just got to strum before-- now they actually get to play.”

Kim stared at Henry, “You are one weird dude Henry.”

Henry laughed, “If you two stay together, I’ll explain it to you.”

They both fell silent. Kim closed her eyes and Henry studied her. “You’re praying.” Kim nodded though she didn’t open her eyes, “God isn’t real and so praying to him doesn’t work.”

Kim glanced over, “I disagree with you on both points. The first one is entirely up to you. I’m not going to go evangelical on you while your Mom is in surgery.”

Henry frowned, “You mean speaking in tongues and the big audiences and stuff.”

“Actually, evangelism is simply spreading the gospel to other people. Or… that’s what people in my congregation believe. No forcing, no politics, lots of good works and talking with people if they find it interesting. But… that’s not my point. We’re not talking about whether you believe in God, but, what you said second. That praying doesn’t work. Even scientists aren’t sure that it doesn’t work.”

“Prayer, thinking of someone, hoping good things for someone. Maybe it does do something to the universe. I mean, if there’s such a thing as quantum entanglement, then why can’t that work with people and sickness?” She smirked just a bit, “And, in my professional opinion, it can’t hurt. And, maybe by focusing on praying, your thoughts that I can see rushing around in that smart brain of yours will calm down just a bit.”

“I’m not good at it.”

“Just close your eyes and think. And, if you can’t talk to Her, talk to your Mom… or your Mama Sandy instead.”

Henry raised an eyebrow as he looked over at Kim, “Her?”

“Just close your eyes kid.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

Kim looked down at Henry. His head rested on her shoulder. Thankfully Eve had gone back to Kim’s house a bit ago, and so, all was quiet in the waiting room. Well, as quiet as a hospital waiting room could get.

Abby and Joe entered and Kim put her free hand to her lips. The mother and son sat down. Abby gave Kim a frown and Kim shrugged with one shoulder. Abby made a face and joined Kim in staring at the door that led to the surgical suites.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

A doctor in scrubs pushed into the waiting room, taking off his scrub cap. “Kerry Weaver’s family?”

Kim touched Henry’s shoulder, “Henry. The doctor’s here.”

They stood and Henry tripped. Kim caught him, and kept her arm around him. “Hey, it’ll be okay.”

Henry didn’t look convinced.


	12. Epilogue - December 24th, 2021

“Aunt Kim, that’s not how you do it.” Marty Legaspi gave a hurf, “It has to be red sprinkle and white icing, ‘cause it’s a candy cane.”

Kim smiled, “But, what if I want a green mint and chocolate one?”

“Ew…”

“Yeah, I’m with Marty, that’s disgusting Kim.”

Kim shot Henry a look, “Good thing I love you kid-- and it’s my cookie, I get to decorate it however I want. Shoo… shoo… no touching.”

TJ appeared in the kitchen and threw his arm around Kim’s shoulders, “Did you just shoo my daughter?”

Kim looked over with a smirk at her brother, “No, I shoo’d my son.”

Henry snorted a laugh, “You wish.”

Kim laughed and squirted the green frosting at Henry. He ducked and Kim winced as it hit the person behind him. “Ahhh…. I mean, the couch is comfortable.”

Kerry looked down at her green covered shirt, then back up, “The cookie baking has already devolved into a food fight, this is only the first batch.” She glanced over, “How long have we been gone Marie? How long did it take them to destroy my kitchen?”

“Twenty minutes. But, these are Legaspis… and it looks as though they may have drawn your son into their shenanigans too.”

Kerry put a hand to her heart, “Well, we had a good run of 17 years my son…” She blinked as flour was poured over her head. She slowly turned, “Kimberly…”

Kim smiled and tried to steal a kiss. Kerry was backing up until she hit the sink, “Yes love?”

Kerry’s hand came out from behind her back, the sprayer in it, soaking Kim from head to toe in two sprays. She then turned and carefully put it back in its holder. Turned to face Kim again, and kissed her until the taller woman had to pull away to catch her breath, “Don’t mess with me Kimberly Legaspi… I always win.”

Kim laughed. Henry got Kerry’s attention and pulled her into a conversation about the turkey that he’d put in while the sisters-in-laws had been out. 

Marty pulled Kim to one side, “Aunt Kim. I-- I don’t believe in Santa anymore. But…. do you think he’s real?”

Kim paused, “Why are you asking the question Mart-ster?”

Marty looked one way, then the other, and spoke softly, “Because last Christmas, when I still thought he was real, I asked Santa for a big brother. And… and now, he’s my Cousin, but…”

Kim sussed out what Marty meant, “Henry.” She smiled. “I don’t know… there is a lot about the world, the universe that we don’t know. Maybe Santa is real in some way.”

“Whoa.”

Kim chuckled, “Okay, enough philosophical talk. After I get on dry clothes we have so more cookies to make and decorate. ‘Cause this Mrs. Claus is gonna be hungry pretending to be Santa…”

Marty rolled her eyes, “Aunt Kim.”

Kim kissed the top of Marty’s head and started towards the stairs to the bedrooms on the second floor of their house.

When she came out of the bathroom in their bedroom she saw that Kerry had followed her up and stood on the balcony. Kim joined her. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

Kim held out a hand and Kerry took it, letting herself be pulled into an embrace. “You know, it’s Christmas Eve… your official re-birthday. It’s a day that I plan to never forget. I…” She glanced back towards the bedroom, “It’s the day that I got my life back. I… I know nothing about Roses, but, we can figure it out what zone we’re in, or bug TJ, or… something, and then we’ll plant one every year that we’re here, or anywhere…”

Kerry silenced Kim with a kiss, “Thank you. It’s a beautiful idea.”

Kim blew out a breath, “When the Doc started with the fact that you’d coded on the table.” Kim felt Kerry chuckle, “Yeah, funny now. But, if I recall from my med school and intern days it’s not the best way to start a conversation with the patient’s family.”

Kerry kept her arms around Kim, but stepped back just a bit, “Well, you didn’t send the roses, but, I think that I got something much better. You, my son, The Paris of the West… it’s perfect.”

Kim snorted, “You’re so old… Paris of the West??” She winced.

“Kim.”

Kim held a hand up, “It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s the incision, not my liver, I promise.”

“Did Eve call you… or even call your brother?”

“I didn’t think she would Ker.” Kim continued before Kerry could say anything, “It’s okay, really. I didn’t do it for her, I did it for me, because it’s who I am. I never expected her to be effusive in her thanks.”

Kerry grumbled.

“Hey.” Kim guided Kerry’s chin so that the redhead was looking at her, “Hey, I have you, Henry, TJ, Marie, Marty, and Trip. Also, it’s almost Christmas Day and it’s not 30 degrees out.” Kerry smiled at that, “Now, let’s talk about the call you got from Helen Kingsley. What did she want.”

“Nope. We’re going to go inside and be with your…”

“Our.”

“...family in this awesome house in this warm city that has way too many hills, but other than that is pretty perfect. We’ll finish the cookies, and maybe tonight during or after dinner we’ll talk about Sandy and Thomas Sr. so we can have them here with us too. And then we’ll read A Visit From St. Nicholas and wait for Santa to come visit.”

Kim cupped Kerry cheek, leaned down, and kissed her wife. “I love you Kerry.”

“And I love you Kim.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm hoping for new section once a week (each section seems to have differing mounts of chapters so...) We'll see how that goes.


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